Feeling of fear is covering me.......

fear of losing someone.......fear of be hated by someone.......

i really scared tat there is someone who hates me........especially my best friend........

but if they really do.......i hope they can tell me "i dun like you anymore" rather than to tell me "we r best friend" but acting like i am a toxic.........

so if u really dun like me anymore........please tell me by words and not to tell me by act......at least i wun be tat hurt for u to tell and not for me to discovered my self......

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today........i really scared tat i will lose u........but i knew tat tat was my fault......

no doubt i am too active, hyper active.........everytime i play will cause many problem like heat ppl eyes or even their XX .........

and today........i interupted u in a serius case........

i was so regretful..........but i knew there was nth i can do.......so tat i stood beside u and just looking at u........

after that, when i knew u were fine already......my heart calm down.......

and the fear starting to claw over me.........and then i just suddenly cry.......

u must be very nervous tat time........but i din meant to let u worried or let u felt regret to angry with me........coz i knew tat it was my fault........

then things became normal after i stoped crying........

but things will never stay in the same places.........

i can feel tat u might have a bit of angry to me or feel that i am fussy already........

this is wat i truely fear.......

u r a very good friend.......a good listener, a good teacher and also a best best best best best best best friend of mine.........

but i know my self...........i know tat i am a person who is affraid of everythingm when it comes to my friend............

so it makes me become a fussy person.......concern this concern tat...... and finally........u might run away becoz of my fussy.......

i dunwan this happen........if u really dun like me talk this talk tat or maybe u dun like one of my habits.......please let me know........although i will be sad......but please........

sometimes u will regret after u tell me the truth, coz it might cause my tears drop........but please.......as a friend.......u should let me know rather than not to let me know..........

maybe u will say inside ur heart tat "next time dun wan tell her anymore.......coz she will definitely cry.......".............but please dun.........

this will ony give me the thought tat i am not wrong and the mistake will be repeating and repeating till it has never end.........

i dun want u to pretend that u like me.........i dun like pretend........it makes me feel sad coz i cant even know ur thoughts deep in ur heart..........

u r the ony one i really cares about, cares about wat u think of me.........cares about how u think of me............and yet cares about who am i in ur heart?

it is so complicated......

it is time to sleep now......very late d.........

}good night ar.........