Queenie's Journal

Oct 2006
4:26 AM EDT

As every day i look on, i always find myself at a physical therapy class, or a doctors appointment . OR something that disrups me from having a good day. .... But then again the only reason that I don't have a good dayis because i expect it to be a bad day.

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Oct 2006
2:23 PM EDT

I used to be such a bitch to people. I used to think that I had to act like a badass through school. Just to be at the top of the chain. I used to act like I had alot of money to spare and that everything in life was all gravey. I never relized why I acted like that till now .Iacted like this because I didn't want anyone else to see who i really was in fear that I wouldn't be popular. Because in california Money and attitude was everything . Thefunny part about all of that is that I could have acted like myself and had the greatest friends that i could have ever had. To all of the young ones that are still highschool. Don't be someone your not . It's not any fun . Popularity only last in highschool, because the people in the real world could care less about who you were in highschool. They only care about who you are now , and weather or not your fake .

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Oct 2006
10:48 PM EDT

I couldn't belevie the day that I had Yesterday. It was sweetest day. My man took my out and bought me all kinds of things to show me his affection , then he took me out to dinner. I think even after a year , everyday that i wake up next to him and see his sweet smile .... I fall in love with him all over again . I don't think that I could have ever made it through the past 12 months ... or even the past 4 without him. He is what keeps me going . No matter how much we argue , no matter how much we go through. WE will always love eachother . THis is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with , and i know finally know for sure that he feels the same way.

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Oct 2006
9:08 AM EDT

I'm afraid of failing . I'm afraid of failing because , I have so many people to disapoint. I know it's the dumbest fear but it's true. I don't like to see the disapointment upon my familys face. Especially when they start out so proud of me . I'm scared of being alone. Mainly because Iwant to have someone there with me all the way. It's better to have someone by your side then you walking alone in the dark.

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1 comment(s) - 04:37 PM - 10/25/2006

Oct 2006
10:47 AM EDT

Today is a wierd day. I don't know what to think about it . I am getting a little bad and good with it . The man that I am spending my life with is almost perfect in all ways . I seriousley don't know how to handle it . I have tried to be confedent and trust him. Yet I have been hurt so many times . SO that brings in the jelouse factor . I don't know how to react to him. How can I trust him.? How can I just forget my past and not hurt myself in the proses . Someone help me please . I don't know what to do

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Oct 2006
8:53 PM EDT

"The Walk Alone." Feeling the heartake of being unwanted. The hurt of the life you have to put up. Watching the things you charish pass away Leaveing you without words to says. Leaveing you in fear. Leaveing in tears, with satisfaction for the world outside. People telling you, Your to old to cry...... Instead of telling you that everything will be alright. Eyes swelled in sadness, Your chest full of pain. You wanting to disapear out of site. Just wanting to hide. Run away from the terrors of the hateful croud that lingers in your path everyday. Walking alone and only 19.

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Oct 2006
8:51 PM EDT

"Because my Sister Did" I walk imto a room and it gets silent I follow my friends and their love is undecided I hear the words that are whispered when I pass in the hall. I feel like i'm not wanted around at all. Why am I here today? Why do I put up with peoples games? There is no answers for these questions I ask. There is no story to tell when its an empty class. I am the quit one. The one no one hears or sees. I'm the one that gets bullied when I walk down the street. I'm the one that comes home and crys in her sleep. I wake the next morn and do this all over again . Only because I know I can if my sister did. Writen By Amanda Naftzger 8/1/06

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Oct 2006
8:45 PM EDT

I am so frustrated it's ridiculouse. I am so tired of people acting like my friend, then screwing me over at the last min. I don't know . It's makeing me feel like I am a bad person or something . I can never really find any true friends. I don't know who to consisder a friend anymore . The only person I really have left is my Fionce Allan. He is always there for me , but it's not the same . For once it would be nice to go out and have fun with friends ... to have a life . I don't that it's ever going to get there though. I just feel like giveing up and closeing myself into a box and forgetting about the world outside. I don't know what to do anymore. My family is running aways from there problems , I'm finding my self in a slump and I'm just confused all together ... SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME OUTTA THIS WORLD !!!

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Oct 2006
10:19 PM EDT

Okay this is new to me . I think this is pretty cool though.

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1 comment(s) - 06:34 PM - 10/19/2006

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Queenie's Profile

Username: Queenie

Gender / Age: Female, 37

Location: USA - Ohio

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QUEENIE's Interests:

About Me: I am 19 years old . A confuseing time in my life, but way better than my teen years. I have a fionce he is 24 , and the best guy in the world . He is more than my lover he is my bestfriend. Other than that I am pretty out going and easy to talk to .... I love wrtieting poetry and setting examples for my goddaughter and friends . I love to settle down with a good book.

Interests: I like to read , skateboard , listen to music and hangout with friends family and my Fionce!! I love to scrapbook and enjoy nice quiet nights at home . I also like to write my feelings out and make new friends. I think that is everyone though lol.

Favorite Music: Anything that has a good beat to it .

Favorite Movies: God where do i begin , Constintine, The Marine, Jarhead, Phat Girls, Rv, Grease 1 and 2 , All disney movies, Alien VS Preditor, Passefier, 13, oh god i could go on forever lol I love movies!!!

Favorite Television: Dog the bounty Hunter, Laguna Beach, Hogan Knows Best, Mory, anthing that keeps me entertained lol

Favorite Books: Inkheart by Cornella Funke, Summer Sisters by Judy Blume and alot more.....

QUEENIE's Friends:
Talacia
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